Protect Your Heart and Wallet: Romance Scams in California

California seniors lost $50,734,540 to romance scams in 2024. These devastating scams exploit loneliness and the desire for connection, often draining victims of their life savings while leaving deep emotional wounds.

How Romance Scams Work

Romance scammers are patient criminals who invest weeks or months building fake relationships. They target California seniors on dating sites, Facebook, and even games like Words With Friends.

The Romance Scam Timeline

Week 1-2: First Contact

They reach out with a compliment or friendly message. Their profile shows an attractive, successful person – often claiming to be a widowed professional, military member overseas, or businessman working abroad.

Week 2-4: Love Bombing

Communication becomes intense and constant. They share personal stories, express deep feelings quickly, and make you feel special and understood.

Week 4-8: Building Trust

They cannot meet in person – always an excuse involving distance, work, or military deployment. They may video chat briefly but have technical problems.

Week 8+: The Ask

A crisis emerges: medical emergency, travel problem, legal issue, or business difficulty. They need money urgently and promise to repay.

Ongoing: Escalation

More crises, more requests. Some victims lose hundreds of thousands of dollars over months or years.

Warning Signs of a Romance Scam

Falls in love very quickly – declares strong feelings within days or weeks
Cannot meet in person – always has excuses (overseas, military, oil rig, etc.)
Asks for money for any reason – this is ALWAYS a scam
Stories do not add up – inconsistencies in their background
Wants to move off the dating platform quickly to text or WhatsApp
Profile seems too perfect – model-like photos, impressive career
Requests wire transfers, gift cards, or cryptocurrency

Step-by-Step: How to Verify Someone You Met Online

Step 1: Reverse Image Search

Save their profile photo to your computer
Go to images.google.com
Click the camera icon and upload the photo
If the photo appears on other sites with different names – it is stolen

Step 2: Video Call Test

Insist on a live video call
Ask them to wave or do a specific gesture
Watch for unnatural movements (could be deepfake AI)
If they always have “technical problems” – be suspicious

Step 3: The Golden Rule

Never send money to someone you have not met in person. This rule has no exceptions. A real romantic partner will never ask you for money before meeting face-to-face.

Emotional Recovery Resources in California

Being victimized by a romance scam is traumatic. These resources can help:

California 211: Dial 211 for local mental health and support services
National Elder Fraud Hotline: (833) 372-8311 – case managers provide support
AARP Fraud Victim Support: aarp.org/fraud